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December 8, 2006
Alaskan in Exile
by Neil Zawicki

    [Editor's note: This week, Neil Zawicki delights us with his continuing saga of Luke Pastoriak, a wandering immigrant in the world of TV. To get caught up to speed on the story (trust us, it's worth it), you will have to do a little backtracking. Click here for parts 1 through 3 of the story, here for part 4, here for part 5, here for 6, and here for part 7. When Neil's epic tale is complete, we promise to put the entire thing in one, easy to navigate location. Enjoy.]

The Television of the United States, Part Eight

     Luke was transformed in that instant, when he spoke the words of war against his father. His brain told him he said it to win the election, but his racing heart showed him that he meant it. His pounding head and his clenched fists and his heavy, proud breath showed his new subjects that he was for real.

     Hours later, after the victory party and the hype, Luke sat like a stone on Johanna’s couch. He stared into an imaginary distance with a scowl. The television told the rest of the story.

     “Fourteen divisions from the army of the Television of the United States stand ready for orders on the Frontier,” said the news anchor as electric green, night-vision images of hurried soldiers and rows and rows of armored vehicles filled the screen. “President-elect Luke Pastoriak is expected to issue orders within the next several hours.”

     The camera cut to a military officer standing in front of a massive tracked vehicle as soldiers moved and shouted from the tank.

     “Our people are prepared to carry out any order,” said the officer. “We’re strong and we’re capable, and we are loyal to our new leader. Most of us to tell you the truth are just anxious to finally get this over with.”

     The camera then cut to a map of what was once the western United States, now the White Dot Collective. Animated arrows pointed to cities and geographic features as a voice gave speculation on possible invasion routes. Johanna was shocked and confused.

     “They’re serious,” she said to Luke. “They’re ready to go to war against your home and your father because of you.”

     Luke said nothing.

     “This isn’t a game, Luke. This is reality and now what you said just to win the election is going to…”

     Luke launched from the couch and exploded.

     “Did you ever stop to think that maybe I meant what I said!?” he shouted, “Maybe all this needs to happen and maybe I don’t give a fuck and maybe my time to be in control has come and now everybody is just going to have to accept it!”

     Johanna stared at Luke, and he stepped closer to her.

     “It’s about control?” she asked.

     “No. It’s about justice.”

     “For what?”

     Luke grabbed her by the back of her head and tugged on her hair. Now they were very close.

     “You’re powerful now, do you like that?”

     Luke nodded.

     “What’s the best place to put your power? How can you use it best?”

     Luke gripped a little harder on her hair.

     “I am doing that.”

     “By going to war?”

     And now she put her hand on his chest, and let his heart beat into her palm and through her arm and into her breasts. Luke ran his hand from her neck through her cleavage and to her waist, and soon the two were no longer talking. Amid gasps and tugs Johanna’s clothes were torn, and the couple blended with a halting sigh. The shadows from the blinds moved across their faces. The shadows moved faster and faster, creating a warm red chaos as all of their veins coursed and pulsed as one loud river of lust.

     In the morning, Luke was gone, and Johanna felt like a sheepish child, gripping her cigarette like a tether. She began to pack. She knew Luke was with the army. She also knew she could not stay. She knew she would have to find her way across the frontier to warn the White Dot Collective, if only for her own soul.

     Three days later, Johanna found herself in the back of a truck in a long, dusty war train, somewhere in what was once Kansas. She posed as a journalist to hitch the ride west, and would vanish from the column the first chance she got…







      Neil Zawicki, exiled Alaskan, is Editor at Large for Insurgent49, a former reporter for the Alaska Star, and winner of the Alaska Press Club's 'Best Columnist' award. He is now living out the rest of his days in an undisclosed location in Oregon. He can be contacted at hondo23@gmail.com

     'Alaskan In Exile' appears on insurgent49.com every Friday.
- Columnists -

Editor's Desk
by Aaron Selbig

Rank and File
by Nova Stubbs

Red Alert
by Soren Wuerth



Alaskan In Exile
by Neil Zawicki

The
Bramble Bush
by Kevin Morford


The Tao

of Waitressing
by Lindsay Luckey








- column archive -

December 1, 2006

November 24, 2006

November 17, 2006

November 10, 2006

November 3, 2006

October 27, 2006

October 20, 2006

October 13, 2006

October 6, 2006

September 29, 2006

September 22, 2006

September 15, 2006

September 8, 2006

September 1, 2006

August 25, 2006

August 18, 2006

August 11, 2006

August 4, 2006

July 28, 2006

July 21, 2006

July 14, 2006

June 30, 2006

June 23, 2006

June 16, 2006

June 9, 2006

June 2, 2006

May 26, 2006

May 12, 2006

May 5, 2006

April 28, 2006

April 21, 2006

April 14, 2006

April 7, 2006

March 31, 2006

March 24, 2006

March 17, 2005

March 3, 2006

February 24, 2006

February 17, 2006

February 10, 2006

February 3, 2006

January 27, 2006

January 20, 2006

January 13, 2006

January 6, 2006

December 30, 2005

December 23, 2005

December 16, 2005

December 10, 2005

December 2, 2005

November 25, 2005

November 18, 2005

November 11, 2005

November 4, 2005

October 28, 2005

October 21, 2005

October 14, 2005

October 7, 2005

September 30, 2005

September 23, 2005

September 16, 2005

September 9, 2005

September 2, 2005

August 26, 2005

August 19, 2005

August 12, 2005

August 5, 2005

July 29, 2005

July 22, 2005

July 15, 2005

July 8, 2005

July 1, 2005

June 24, 2005

June 17, 2005

June 10, 2005

June 3, 2005

May 27, 2005

May 20, 2005

May 13, 2005

May 6, 2005

April 29, 2005

April 21, 2005

April 14, 2005

April 7, 2005

April 1, 2005



- also by this writer -



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in-sur-gent (in sur'jent), n. 1. a member of a group which revolts against the policies of its leadership.