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October 28, 2005
Alaskan in Exile
by Neil Zawicki

[Editor's note: Mr. Zawicki wrote this article at 9:42 on the evening of October 26, so it is entirely possible that it is now out of date, allowing that word has been passed from Special Counsel Fitzgerald on the fate of the player(s) in the Valerie Plame CIA leak scandal.]

    I’ve got nine dollars that says Karl Rove is biting his pillow right now. And I’ll go double or nothing that Dick Cheney is sitting up with a snifter of brandy, distractedly watching an Indigo Girls videotape left behind by his daughter when she left home in 1992. And ol’ GW must be laughing nervously as he and his top aides sit up in the Oval Office, awaiting word on whether there will be indictments in the most sinister allegation of treachery in American politics since the Watergate situation. I can almost hear the sweat oozing from his forehead.

    These are bad days for the good ol’ boy club. They’re caught in a fix that no amount of spin or sleight-of-hand can cover. They stand suspected of endangering a woman’s life in order to get back at her husband.

    In case you’ve been busy buying sets of percale ‘American Idol’ bed sheets at Wal-Mart for the past year and a half, here’s the run-down:

    Former U.S. Ambassador Joe Wilson traveled to Niger in Feb. 2002, and determined that Iraq had not and was never planning to purchase the raw materials to make nuclear weapons, and he said so in an Op/Ed piece in the New York Times. His views, or rather facts, ran counter to the Bush Administration’s story and reason for invading Iraq, and by dinner time the following Tuesday, Wilson’s wife, Valerie Plame, was all over the papers – outed as a secret CIA operative.

    Secret CIA operatives are supposed to remain secret, because there are people who would like to kill them. The only people who know who these secret CIA operatives are, tend to be people like Vice Presidents and their aides, or well-connected congressmen. And these are people who understand why CIA operatives’ identities should be kept secret. But just in case they forget, it is also against federal law to reveal the identities of such people.

    Are you ready for that, Captain Snowmachine? Your GOP boys are goin’ around endangering people’s lives in order to play political hardball.

    Yes sir, the elephant does not sleep well tonight.

    In contrast to such underhanded thuggery, Joe Wilson is refreshingly honest. When asked recently if he’d ever consider running for public office, he told reporters, “I’ve had too many wives and I’ve taken too many drugs – and I did inhale.”

    God bless him.

    Meanwhile, I’m as giddy as a schoolgirl as I anticipate word on the indictment from Special Counsel Patrick Fitzgerald. I really do get up every morning and hope to read that Rove or Cheney’s Chief of Staff Lewis “Scooter” Libby or both have been thrown into the stocks. And now there are reports that Cheney himself has been fingered as the informant.

    Can you see the light?

    This is not to say that when the GOP thugs finally fall that I’m going to dance on their graves. Nope. Rather, I would like to exhume their corpses and arrange them into a little Teepee and then sit among them and quietly but happily smoke from my briar wood pipe as all the vindicated people of the world come by and offer their middle finger to the hollow, rotting flesh that was the Bush Administration.

    Is that asking too much?

     Right. I know. They could get off. They could.
   

   

   
   

 

Neil Zawicki, exiled Alaskan, is Editor at Large for Insurgent49, a former reporter for the Alaska Star, and winner of the Alaska Press Club's 'Best Columnist' award. He is now living out the rest of his days in an undisclosed location in Oregon. He can be contacted at -  neil@insurgent49.com
- Columnists -

Editor's Desk
by Aaron Selbig

Red Alert
by Soren Wuerth

Alaskan In Exile
by Neil Zawicki

The
Bramble Bush
by Kevin Morford





- also by this writer -
Copyright 2005 Insurgent Media. All Rights Reserved.
in-sur-gent (in sur'jent), n. 1. a member of a group which revolts against the policies of its leadership.