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September 30, 2005
Alaskan in Exile
by Neil Zawicki

     It looks like I picked a winner.

     How ‘bout that Tom Delay? When I wrote that he was nearly politically dead from his underhanded corporate money-for-politics scheme, I believed it. And I continued to believe it, for that matter. But the way things go out there in the media soup, I started to think that my bet would be lost.

     And then, just twenty minutes ago, while sipping some after-watch coffee by the dim light of the Nav Station, I got the headline: Delay Steps Down.

     This changes things. I was all set to write about how the American soldiers in Iraq are for the most part good, well-meaning soldiers that have been mislead into conducting themselves in a hopeless situation that we will someday drop. I was going to mention that even the most flint-eyed military commanders now say the insurgency will not be defeated militarily, yet they continue to comply with Bush and his Waspy Hocus-Pocus, and put all their energy into keeping as many of their people alive as possible.

    Whatever. Delay has quit. He had to quit; it’s in the By-Laws of the House:
    “Anyone caught pulling sneaky madness meant to gain an underhanded advantage for the GOP must step down. But he can still come to the Skull and Bones meetings every third Tuesday of the month.”

    That’s the real thing.

    And did anyone notice that on the same day Delay was cleaning out his desk, Bush pulled a press conference to make the stunning announcement that violence in Iraq is going to increase?

I’ve said it before. Whenever there’s an unseemly event for the GOP, the White House makes some brightly lit, dog-and-pony show announcement, and the press laps it up. Every time.

    Can you dig it? We’ve got a horse race on our hands. I only wish I’d actually put money on Delay and on the White House calling distracting press conferences, but let’s look at this as a learning moment. I can’t think of anything better than to start betting on the fates of the Neocons. We can run off-Beltway betting as we follow the next three years.

    For example, what are the odds on Dick Cheney’s heart imploding? Will Karl Rove finally be revealed as a high-powered Machiavellian robot? Will Bush ever meet with Cindy Sheehan? Will he be impeached?  I’ve got $20 that says Donald Rumsfeld will start wearing an Iron Cross earring before December.*

    This could really be a lot of fun, and lucrative as well.

    I already have a green banker’s visor and several Cohiba brand Cuban cigars. I’ll be the bookie.

     I’m serious.

     It is clear that the GOP’s corrupt, greed-headed tactics are coming around to devour them whole. We can either sit back and watch, or make a sport of it.

     I have always been a lover of sport.
   
*Meant as an outlandish hypothetical situation, and not as an actual bet. Although I happen to know that Rove is in fact a robot.







Neil Zawicki, exiled Alaskan, is Editor at Large for Insurgent49, a former reporter for the Alaska Star, and winner of the Alaska Press Club's 'Best Columnist' award. He is now living out the rest of his days in an undisclosed location in Oregon. He can be contacted at -  neil@insurgent49.com
- Columnists -

Editor's Desk
by Aaron Selbig

Red Alert
by Soren Wuerth

Alaskan In Exile
by Neil Zawicki

The
Bramble Bush
by Kevin Morford





- also by this writer -
Copyright 2005 Insurgent Media. All Rights Reserved.
in-sur-gent (in sur'jent), n. 1. a member of a group which revolts against the policies of its leadership.