| August 4, 2006 Alaskan in Exile by Neil Zawicki The Television of the United States, part
five
 [Editor's Note:
To catch up on the previous installments of Neil Zawicki's 'The
Television of the United States', click here for parts 1 through 3, and
here for part 4. Enjoy.]If Luke had learned anything in his nineteen years on the planet, it was that a girl in a kimono giggling on a living room floor was valuable beyond words. So he rolled over, and began to twist a lock of her hair around one of his fingers. “What exactly are you doing?” asked Johanna. “I’m twisting your hair around my finger.” “That doesn’t seem very presidential, mister,” Johanna said, stretching. “I thought you said my idea to be president was lame?” Johanna paused. “Well, only sort of. I mean it depends on what you would do with your presidency.” Luke stopped twisting her hair. She took his hand, and made him start again. “What if I banned television?” he said, looking to her for approval. Johanna yawned. “Can’t do it,” she said. “It’s in the rules. No president shall have the power to remove television from the national culture. You know? Separation of Church and State and all that.” Luke sat up, and so did Johanna. He leaned in and looked at her chin. She smiled. “Separation of Church and…what was the other word?” he asked, moving closer. “State,” said Johanna, and then she leapt to her feet. “I’m going to bed,” she said abruptly. “There’s your blanket on the couch. Good night.” Luke sat on the floor like a startled hamster, staring at Johanna’s closed door. Then, he noticed the television, sitting just to the right of him like a stoic siren, waiting for him to pay attention. He began to feel around in the half-light for the little rectangular box he knew would operate the television. Johanna called out from behind her door: “It’s over by the lamp,” she said calmly. Luke looked, and found the little rectangular box sitting at the base of the lamp. He picked it up and pushed the green button. The television screen lit up with a single burst of baritone, and immediately he was staring at a man sitting in a sports car. The man had on sunglasses and seemed nervous. Luke was mesmerized. The man looked out the window and began humming to himself. Luke moved closer to the set. Then, the man spoke. “Man, I’m finn’ tuh git my money back soon as I fine my bat,” said the man in the car on the television. Then, a loop of artificial laughter sounded from the set, and Luke got confused. He pushed a button on the little rectangular box, and the screen changed suddenly, which startled Luke. Now he was looking at people running through a field of flowers while bongo drums rumbled in the background. Then, a giant snake appeared in the sky, and all the people scattered. Luke pressed another button, and again the screen changed. This time it was a woman singing something about furniture. Luke fell asleep to the woman’s song. Neil Zawicki, exiled Alaskan, is Editor at Large for Insurgent49, a former reporter for the Alaska Star, and winner of the Alaska Press Club's 'Best Columnist' award. He is now living out the rest of his days in an undisclosed location in Oregon. He can be contacted at - hondo23@gmail.com |
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Columnists -
- column archive -
July 28, 2006 July 21, 2006 July 14, 2006 June 30, 2006 June 23, 2006 June 16, 2006 June 9, 2006 June 2, 2006 May 26, 2006 May 12, 2006 May 5, 2006 April 28, 2006 April 21, 2006 April 14, 2006 April 7, 2006 March 31, 2006 March 24, 2006 March 17, 2005 March 3, 2006 February 24, 2006 February 17, 2006 February 10, 2006 February 3, 2006 January 27, 2006 January 20, 2006 January 13, 2006 January 6, 2006 December 30, 2005 December 23, 2005 December 16, 2005 December 10, 2005 December 2, 2005 November 25, 2005 November 18, 2005 November 11, 2005 November 4, 2005 October 28, 2005 October 21, 2005 October 14, 2005 October 7, 2005 September 30, 2005 September 23, 2005 September 16, 2005 September 9, 2005 September 2, 2005 August 26, 2005 August 19, 2005 August 12, 2005 August 5, 2005 July 29, 2005 July 22, 2005 July 15, 2005 July 8, 2005 July 1, 2005 June 24, 2005 June 17, 2005 June 10, 2005 June 3, 2005 May 27, 2005 May 20, 2005 May 13, 2005 May 6, 2005 April 29, 2005 April 21, 2005 April 14, 2005 April 7, 2005 April 1, 2005 - also by this
writer -
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Insurgent Media. All Rights
Reserved. in-sur-gent (in sur'jent), n. 1. a member of a group which revolts against the policies of its leadership. |
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