| July 22, 2005 Alaskan in Exile by Neil Zawicki Apparently, I feel all women exist to send greeting cards. I didn’t realize I felt that way until an anonymous feminist pointed that out to me. Thank you, anonymous feminist, for helping me understand what I meant. The thing is, the greeting card was an analogous example, meant to illustrate that women remind us to be considerate, and suggesting that men are not always too good at such a thing. It is already assumed, at least by me, that women are as capable and vital as men. The card sending idea was a hypothetical example. And for you, anonymous feminist, to fixate on the mistaken idea that I said women are expected to send greeting cards is both myopic and lazy. Further, I wonder if you could provide for me the definition of the word ‘berate’. Because you see, you said I berated women in the article, when I am certain I did not. But, considering I’m not very bright, maybe you could help me understand. I’ll give you a dollar if you can show me any berating in the article. It was my hope that the blue wig I wore in the photo would help the humor-challenged to understand the tone of the article, but I guess that didn’t work. I know what I meant, and I know why I wrote it. I have a beautiful daughter and a woman I feel lucky to be with. It is sad but not surprising that the letter writer scanned the article for keywords and phrases, ignored the context, and launched a limp, recycled dissertation that was far off the mark and completely failed to understand the spirit. Also, let’s rethink the word ‘feminist’. I think it’s a flawed term. It’s like ‘white supremacist’ or ‘Zionist’. It suggests superiority. The goal is equality, right? Given that, I think a more progressive term is ‘equalist’. So, anonymous equalist, I too am an equalist, and I’m glad we can unite. Enough. I have more serious business to attend to. I’ve been thinking. The Insurgent 49 readership is a special group, and one that deserves a central figure with which to identify. That figure is Chaka Khan. Chaka Khan, like the Insurgent 49 reader, is strong, imaginative, and independent. Chaka Khan embodies our spirit.  Try this: “Ch— Chaka – Chaka Khan?” Again: “Chaka Khan?” The question mark is important for the “Khan,” as that is how it goes in the intro to Khan’s runaway hit, “I feel for you.” The full lyrics are even better: Chaka
Khan, let me rock you
Let me rock you, Chaka Khan Let me rock you, that's all I wanna do Chaka Khan, let me rock you Let me rock you, Chaka Khan Let me rock you, let me feel for you Chaka Khan let me tell you what I wanna do Do you feel for me, the way I feel for you Chaka Khan let me tell you what I wanna do I wanna love you, wanna hug you, wanna squeeze you too Let me take you in my arms Let me fill you with my charms, Chaka 'Cause you know that I'm the one to keep you warm Chaka, I'll make you more than just a physical dream I wanna rock you, Chaka Baby, cause you make me wanna scream Let me rock you, rock you We as Insurgents should adopt the “Chaka Khan?” as our common cry. Think of it, you’re strolling down 4th avenue, and you pass a fellow Insurgent, and the two of you exchange a knowing, “Chaka Khan?” Also, the “Chaka Khan?” could be used to gain access to sensitive areas, like Insurgent Headquarters. This is the glue we’ve been looking for. In fact, the song title is appropriate for Insurgents as well: “I feel for you.” Chaka Khan’s lyrics stir the soul with notions of struggle and emotion; two things Insurgents hold dear. I think it’s clear that Chaka Khan speaks for the Insurgent in all of us. I move to adopt Chaka Kahn as our central figure, and to establish the “Chaka Khan?” as our unifying cry. Who’s with me? Neil Zawicki, exiled Alaskan, is Editor at Large for Insurgent49, a former reporter for the Alaska Star, and winner of the Alaska Press Club's 'Best Columnist' award. He is now living out the rest of his days in an undisclosed location in Oregon. He can be contacted at - neil@insurgent49.com |
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July 15, 2005 July 8, 2005 July 1, 2005 June 24, 2005 June 17, 2005 June 10, 2005 June 3, 2005 May 27, 2005 May 20, 2005 May 13, 2005 May 6, 2005 April 29, 2005 April 21, 2005 April 14, 2005 April 7, 2005 April 1, 2005 - also by this
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Reserved. in-sur-gent (in sur'jent), n. 1. a member of a group which revolts against the policies of its leadership. |
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