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| July 21, 2006 Alaskan in Exile by Neil Zawicki [Note to ardent readers and steadfast loathers: I was all set to file another installment of the 'Television of the United States' this week, but as long our Israeli brothers are crouched in bomb craters as Iranian-built, Hezbollah-launched rockets explode all around them, I feel duty-bound to write about it. I hope you understand.] Israeli school kids are using artillery shells to pen messages to Hezbollah. They’re writing on them with felt markers before the soldiers lob them into Lebanon. It’s a touching sight, and one that stirs the heart. And no doubt when those shells land randomly among shopping centers and fleeing families, the message will be heard loud and clear: “Don’t fuck with Israel.” I’m on track to win $600 from my bet with Delcan, providing my horse rears up and gets on with the charge to Beirut. Or was that four horses? Four Horsemen? Whatever. Speaking of the Apocalypse, the situation in the Middle East got me wondering what the Biblical Prophecy Set has to say about it. So, I brought the media monitor to full operational power ... which caused a limited brownout in my immediate neighborhood, and nearly exposed the location of the Exile Bunker. Not to worry. The fretting Lebanese landlords living above me made a perfect distraction. In my search, I ran across a curious prediction, and one I think we should consider with some seriousness. It seems the United Nations headquarters in New York City is going to be nuked between Tuesday and Thursday of next week. That’s right. A sea-launched terrorist attack will deliver a tactical nuclear device, destroying the UN building, and almost certainly disrupting the lunch hours of many in the Midtown area. Here’s an excerpt from the site that made the prediction. The font size is as it appears on the site. Pay close attention to the language used. This is what we have learned… The UN in Midtown Manhattan will be hit by a sea borne nuclear bomb sometime in the Biblical month of Tammuz, i.e. before Sundown July 28th, 2006. We expect this to happen on 2006Tammuz28/29 i.e. between Sundown Tuesday July 25th and Sundown Thursday July 27th, 2006. We do apologize for our incompetence at getting the day right. But we do still have the month right in our understanding and we now have a new day for this disaster. So we again strongly advise anyone in New York City with any faith in God, whatever his religion, or whatever his distrust of organized religion, to be outside the city this time between Tuesday evening July 25th and Thursday evening July 27th. So for those of you who are interested in bible prophecy, in detective stories, in understanding God's love, in intellectual puzzles, in Stargate type Sci Fi from 3,500 year old documents written in Hebrew and from 2,000 year old documents written in Greek, or in the absolute spiritual truth that lies just beneath the thin and perishing plastic veneer of this wicked and Pharisaical administration of mankind, which promotes morality with its lips but rewards immorality with its currency, which promotes multilateral peace with its lips, but wages unilateral war with its armies and its bureaucrats, which praises God with its lips but destroys this planet he created with its technology and leaves more than half the children in the world in want of food, medical care or schooling. Let's take a walk together... That’s a bit of a mouthful, don’t you think? God’s love, Intellectual Puzzles and Stargate-type Sci Fi from 3,500-year-old documents? That’s really what it says. The site is www.truebiblecode.com/nyc, if you’re at all interested. I don’t claim to be a biblical scholar, so I have no choice but to take this information at face value. Shouldn’t the Pentagon be informed about this? And what about the Coast Guard? If I were on watch there in New York Harbor, I’d be on the lookout for a sport fishing boat full of Hawaiian-shirted Arabs wielding binoculars and aiming a big bright yellow torpedo with the radioactive warning symbol painted on it towards the city. Or maybe they’ll be a little more subtle than that. Come to think of it, they probably will. I guess that’s why I don’t make my living catching nuclear terrorists. Regardless, it all hits the fan next week between Tuesday and Thursday. I guess it had to happen sooner or later. Neil Zawicki, exiled Alaskan, is Editor at Large for Insurgent49, a former reporter for the Alaska Star, and winner of the Alaska Press Club's 'Best Columnist' award. He is now living out the rest of his days in an undisclosed location in Oregon. He can be contacted at - hondo23@gmail.com |
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