| June 23, 2006 Alaskan in Exile by Neil Zawicki The
Television of the United States, part four
As if to punctuate Luke's declaration, all fifteen television screens
lit up with a fanfare of image and music. It was the National
Constitution, and it began with the theme music form TVs "Hill Street
Blues," and went right into the hard electric guitar riff from "Magnum,
PI." Images of Sid Caesar, Bea Arthur and Fred MacMurry filled the
screens as the entire cafe dropped whatever they were doing and stared.Luke collected himself and stood up awkwardly. Johanna lit a smoke. Then, she began to speak, which alarmed Luke. "I can't believe you came all this way to try to be president," she said. "Aren't you supposed to be quiet during the Constitution?" he asked. "That's what they told me when I went through customs." Johanna shook her head as if annoyed by a flying insect. "Let's go," she said, moving for the door. Once outside, the two were made small by a cityscape dominated by television. Massive screens blared from every corner, throwing the Constitution onto groups of citizens made zombie-like by the event. Johanna moved quickly past the static crowds. Luke followed her. The two of them moved like swift beetles through a forest of video and rock-like obedience. They were their own kinetic system. Johanna led Luke across the street and into an alley, where she turned into a small doorway and unlocked the door. Luke found himself in his new friend's home: a beat little apartment filled with houseplants and bookshelves, and one little TV that was cluttered with well-used candles. "I have to have that in here," she said, changing into a kimono right behind Luke, who was busy examining the TV. "It's the law that I have it." "Can I turn it on?" asked Luke. "Yeah, whatever." Luke pushed the power button and the set came to life. It was a commercial for the show, "Real American President." "Get ready to Throw Down!" cried the announcer, as contestants lined up amid strobe lights and struck curious poses. "Real American President! Where anyone can rule the nation by being the baddest and the best on the screen!" Next, Luke observed footage of contestants running sprints and arm wrestling, with one dominant shot of a contestant - most likely the winner - standing on a platform covered in whipped cream as roses bounced off his face and chest. A book fell to the floor next to Luke. Then another, and still another. Luke did not notice that Johanna was demonstratively dropping books to the floor next to him from a distance of four feet. For Luke, the loud whump of the falling books fell silent to the pageantry of the commercial. "You really want to do that?" asked Johanna. There was a pause, and then Luke answered. "I'll bet that guy spent a lot of time preparing for the show." Johanna let out a sigh, and then went to the kitchen and produced two glasses of wine. "Why is it that you want to be the president?" she asked putting a glass in Luke's hand. "Well, it's a powerful thing, leadership, don't you think?" "I guess." "Yeah," he continued, "and here, anyone can achieve it." "And all because of TV." Johanna drank her wine in long, breathy gulps. Luke was already finished with his glass. "What about home?" she asked. "How would you get to be president there?" Luke leaned in a little closer. "You have to prove yourself, I suppose." "How?" "Well, you have to be a leader." "And what about here?" "Well, I guess you just have to have a gimmick." "What's the difference?" asked Johanna, and the two of them laughed until they fell to the floor. Neil Zawicki, exiled Alaskan, is Editor at Large for Insurgent49, a former reporter for the Alaska Star, and winner of the Alaska Press Club's 'Best Columnist' award. He is now living out the rest of his days in an undisclosed location in Oregon. He can be contacted at - hondo23@gmail.com |
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June 16, 2006 June 9, 2006 June 2, 2006 May 26, 2006 May 12, 2006 May 5, 2006 April 28, 2006 April 21, 2006 April 14, 2006 April 7, 2006 March 31, 2006 March 24, 2006 March 17, 2005 March 3, 2006 February 24, 2006 February 17, 2006 February 10, 2006 February 3, 2006 January 27, 2006 January 20, 2006 January 13, 2006 January 6, 2006 December 30, 2005 December 23, 2005 December 16, 2005 December 10, 2005 December 2, 2005 November 25, 2005 November 18, 2005 November 11, 2005 November 4, 2005 October 28, 2005 October 21, 2005 October 14, 2005 October 7, 2005 September 30, 2005 September 23, 2005 September 16, 2005 September 9, 2005 September 2, 2005 August 26, 2005 August 19, 2005 August 12, 2005 August 5, 2005 July 29, 2005 July 22, 2005 July 15, 2005 July 8, 2005 July 1, 2005 June 24, 2005 June 17, 2005 June 10, 2005 June 3, 2005 May 27, 2005 May 20, 2005 May 13, 2005 May 6, 2005 April 29, 2005 April 21, 2005 April 14, 2005 April 7, 2005 April 1, 2005 - also by this
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Reserved. in-sur-gent (in sur'jent), n. 1. a member of a group which revolts against the policies of its leadership. |
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