| June 9, 2006 Alaskan in Exile by Neil Zawicki The
Television of the United States, Part Two
The screen before Luke lit his face with orange and green light, and his eyes widened as a blast of trumpets and laserbeams filled his ears. Then, a voice sounded from the screen: "The Television of the United States is always excited to receive new Viewer Citizens. We're certain your stay here will be both entertaining and fulfilling, but before we begin, here are some products you'll need to purchase within the next 23 hours to remain a legal Viewer Citizen..." There was a short hiccup of blackness on the screen, and Luke shifted in his boots. Then, the screen lit up again... "If you're new to the Television of the United States, particularly if you are from the White Dot Collective, you're probably experiencing some anxiety due to the strange and exciting environment you find yourself in. That's why you will buy NoShy Omoxil 900 within the next 23 hours, or risk arrest and deportation. NoShy Omoxil 900 ... start feeling like everyone else today." The announcement ended with a blooming flower accompanied by sedate piano music. It made Luke laugh, and the piano music made him think of home, and the day he left to see the Television of the United States, and to try to become the president. Back home, before he thought about ever leaving, the stories his father told him of the days when television was legal everywhere only made him wonder. "We were the ones who rejected television," his father would say. "We were the pioneers." The White Dot Collective broke away from the nation in the fall of 2032. The founding fathers outlawed television in their land, which spanned from what was central Kansas all the way to the Pacific Ocean. East of that border, another new nation formed. The Television of the United States made TV its god and government, and the people based their lives and social agenda upon the Television. The Television of the United States adopted a new constitution, which was not written, but rather a video montage of classic television images set to a medley of TV show theme songs. It played three times daily, and when it did, all Viewer Citizens stopped what they were doing and moved, trance-like, closer to the nearest television screen. The White Dot Collective, on the other hand, embraced a more organic and television-free lifestyle, and held to the belief that their way was better. Luke wondered why, and needed to know for himself. "Here, our leaders are chosen through consensus, and based on their experience and wisdom," Luke's father would say. "Over there, they choose their leaders through television. They elect the loudest, shallowest contestant from the show." His father spoke of the political arena in the Television of the United States -- a reality TV show on which contestants vied for the presidency of that nation. The show -- and the prize -- was open to anyone, citizen or not. "What's wrong with that idea?" Luke asked his father. "It is shallow and it poisons society with horrible values," replied his father. Luke wasn't sure he agreed, and the notion of becoming the leader of a nation by simply winning a TV game show was attractive to him. So much so that he packed up and left his home -- under the loud protest of his father -- to see the seductive and glittery land to the east. To see the Television, and to compete on the show that would make him president. Luke found lunch after he completed his in-processing to the Television of the United States. He found it in a cafe across the street. A Rueben sandwich in front of fifteen television screens all displaying the same thing -- a man with a bald head and sunglasses making a string of declarations: "This week, all citizens will buy floor cleaner and orange tumblers. You will find them at any retail outlet. If you have trouble finding a retail outlet, a police officer will be happy to point you in the right direction. Also, all contestants for Real American President must meet on Tuesday in the Bureau of Programming building." Luke noticed next to him a young woman who was half watching the screens, half glancing at him. He realized he was doing the same, and when he made eye contact with her, she smiled and looked away. Neil Zawicki, exiled Alaskan, is Editor at Large for Insurgent49, a former reporter for the Alaska Star, and winner of the Alaska Press Club's 'Best Columnist' award. He is now living out the rest of his days in an undisclosed location in Oregon. He can be contacted at - hondo23@gmail.com |
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June 2, 2006 May 26, 2006 May 12, 2006 May 5, 2006 April 28, 2006 April 21, 2006 April 14, 2006 April 7, 2006 March 31, 2006 March 24, 2006 March 17, 2005 March 3, 2006 February 24, 2006 February 17, 2006 February 10, 2006 February 3, 2006 January 27, 2006 January 20, 2006 January 13, 2006 January 6, 2006 December 30, 2005 December 23, 2005 December 16, 2005 December 10, 2005 December 2, 2005 November 25, 2005 November 18, 2005 November 11, 2005 November 4, 2005 October 28, 2005 October 21, 2005 October 14, 2005 October 7, 2005 September 30, 2005 September 23, 2005 September 16, 2005 September 9, 2005 September 2, 2005 August 26, 2005 August 19, 2005 August 12, 2005 August 5, 2005 July 29, 2005 July 22, 2005 July 15, 2005 July 8, 2005 July 1, 2005 June 24, 2005 June 17, 2005 June 10, 2005 June 3, 2005 May 27, 2005 May 20, 2005 May 13, 2005 May 6, 2005 April 29, 2005 April 21, 2005 April 14, 2005 April 7, 2005 April 1, 2005 - also by this
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Insurgent Media. All Rights
Reserved. in-sur-gent (in sur'jent), n. 1. a member of a group which revolts against the policies of its leadership. |
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