| June 2, 2006 Alaskan in Exile by Neil Zawicki Luke walked through the large double doors and stopped. He removed his pack and his shoulders felt like fishing floats on salt water. The road dust leapt from his boots and floated to the marble floor. He looked up with tired, excited eyes at a 20-foot-tall television screen. He had only seen them in books or heard of them in stories, and now he was in front of one for the first time, and the blue light made him feel very small and very curious. It was like walking in on God with his back turned and waiting for him to wheel around and notice. Luke was speechless. At the base of the massive screen sat a woman at a desk in a dark suit – one little dot against the blue. She stared into her own television screen and yet another screen sat in front of her, facing Luke, that read, “Start Here.” He made his way to her desk and started to introduce himself, but he was interrupted. “Wait!” said the woman, smiling, not looking up at all from her personal screen. “Here it comes.” Luke was puzzled. “I’m sorry?” he said quietly. The woman shrugged and looked up for one second. “That Part!” she said. “Wait. Okay. Here it is!” She held her screen up to Luke’s face just in time for him to focus on the image of a man in a white suit, holding a peacock like a baby as he said, “Tonya, you’ll always have my one-two-nine.” Next, a massive explosion filled the space behind the man, and he looked slowly over his shoulder. “Oh my god, don’t you love that?” the woman asked. Luke just stood, and hoped to find the right words. The woman tilted her head and made a face like she was thinking. “You must be an immigrant,” she said. “Sorry, I just totally love that show. Okay, here, take this and walk through that door.” She handed Luke a silver bar with an arrangement of buttons on the front. Luke walked through the door, which was labeled, “Port of Entry, Television of the United States.” Once inside, Luke found himself in a forest of television screens. People, looking just as lost as he felt, stood at the screens, each with the same silver bar in their hand. Luke noticed a screen with a flashing green light above it, and moved intuitively in that direction. Once in front of his personal screen, it came to life. Luke’s heart raced as the screen produced a crisp image of a woman standing next to a stack of smaller television screens, all of which displayed images of families laughing in slow motion or people walking on beaches carrying sandals in their hands. Then, the woman spoke. “Welcome, and thank you for choosing our country. Is this your first trip to the Television of the United States?” The woman’s question echoed from other screens in the room. “Is this your first trip to the Television of the United states? “First trip to” “Is this” “The Television of the United States?” Luke looked around to notice other people pressing buttons on their silver bars. He looked down at his and found a button marked yes. He pressed the button. Neil Zawicki, exiled Alaskan, is Editor at Large for Insurgent49, a former reporter for the Alaska Star, and winner of the Alaska Press Club's 'Best Columnist' award. He is now living out the rest of his days in an undisclosed location in Oregon. He can be contacted at - hondo23@gmail.com |
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May 26, 2006 May 12, 2006 May 5, 2006 April 28, 2006 April 21, 2006 April 14, 2006 April 7, 2006 March 31, 2006 March 24, 2006 March 17, 2005 March 3, 2006 February 24, 2006 February 17, 2006 February 10, 2006 February 3, 2006 January 27, 2006 January 20, 2006 January 13, 2006 January 6, 2006 December 30, 2005 December 23, 2005 December 16, 2005 December 10, 2005 December 2, 2005 November 25, 2005 November 18, 2005 November 11, 2005 November 4, 2005 October 28, 2005 October 21, 2005 October 14, 2005 October 7, 2005 September 30, 2005 September 23, 2005 September 16, 2005 September 9, 2005 September 2, 2005 August 26, 2005 August 19, 2005 August 12, 2005 August 5, 2005 July 29, 2005 July 22, 2005 July 15, 2005 July 8, 2005 July 1, 2005 June 24, 2005 June 17, 2005 June 10, 2005 June 3, 2005 May 27, 2005 May 20, 2005 May 13, 2005 May 6, 2005 April 29, 2005 April 21, 2005 April 14, 2005 April 7, 2005 April 1, 2005 - also by this
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Reserved. in-sur-gent (in sur'jent), n. 1. a member of a group which revolts against the policies of its leadership. |
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