The conservatives are more insecure than ever, and Al Gore has gone out of his mind.

           Those two thoughts welled up in my head as I re-wired and fired up the media monitoring bunker at the new exile location. The new location is required to evade capture or detection. After all, Dr. Gillespie’s apprehension was a shot across the bow for all of us. And an exile is tricky business in the first place.

           Nova Stubbs arrived in time to assist with the move. Her, and a massive, bright orange 1968 flatbed truck – converted from a sailboat back in September – made all go smoothly. Once settled, I was free again to draw conclusions on the conservatives and Al Gore; two forces of equal specific gravity. Al Gore has enough latent goofy energy to offset the collective silly pomp of the entire body of conservative thinkers in our nation. Especially if you combine Al Gore with media and divide that by the Republican Party. The result is crazy. I believe the equation is AG(m)/GOP=C.

           Indeed. I threw the switch for the media monitoring hardware and the lights flickered, and then the monitor warmed to life. There was Lou Dobbs of Fox News talking about Non-Governmental Organizations. He called it a special report, but actually was having a conversation with a “reporter” about how NGOs wield more power at times than governments do, and that they are not elected by the people.

           They both kept saying that.

           “They are NOT ELECTED Lou.”

           “Yes, these NGOs are not elected by the people, and do not represent the will of the people. We’ll be following this important issue.”

           Pardon me, Lou? Your agenda is showing.

           The thing is, NGOs, such as the Advocacy Project, American Civil Liberties Union and the Arab Association for Human Rights, are funded by private and public donations. Votes. From the people. Of course, NGOs do wield power and affect change, and that’s what is so scary about them – to a conservative anyway.

           NGOs are a threat to the conservative agenda.

           “They are NOT ELECTED, Lou.”

            While I was watching, and lamenting to myself how the dumb thread will now start parroting the words “NGOs are NOT ELECTED,” the latest issue of The Nation bounced off my head – sent through the pneumatic delivery tube, which happily was up and running, and right on schedule. I unrolled the magazine and observed Al Gore in Hip-Hop clothes, with the words, “Al Gore Gets Down,” as the headline.

           It seems Al Gore is starting a new Cable Television news channel called “Current.” The channel will be geared toward young people, and feature viewer-created clips and lots of quick edit, MTV-style visuals.

           Strange. When Al called me last month, he had plans to start a progressive news channel to counter Rupert Murdoch’s empire. It appears some how he lost his way. He went from fighting the conservative domination of the media to a flashy, low-brow money making scheme.

           “How many of y’all would like to see an opportunity to talk about what’s going on in your world that you can participate in with television?”

           That’s what Al Gore said at a press conference for his new channel.

           It sounds like he’s just saying what the media money people are whispering in his ear, and he doesn’t sound like he believes it. And I’m not even sure what he means, for that matter. “That you can participate in with television?”

           I have declared Al Gore a casualty, and have erected a shrine to his social death next to the reading room and rifle range.

           Anyway, the dive light and siren are blaring, which could only mean the coffee’s on. I guess I’ll go have a cup in the lookout tower, and ponder the weird words of the late Al Gore, and brace myself for the next blast from Lou Dobbs.