| updated weekly |
home - contribute - donate - message board - links - contact us - archive |
|
|
| March 30, 2007 Alaskan in Exile by Neil Zawicki, insurgent49 There is something essentially unnerving about witnessing a hopelessly white politico doing a stiff and cheesy hip-hop thing at a media dinner, especially when it's Karl Rove. In fact, there is a little part of me that wants desperately to believe that it did not happen, but I fear that it did. I had returned to the media monitor Wednesday night after watching President Bush deliver a stand-up comic routine to the guests at the annual Television and Radio Correspondents' dinner. It was actually quite funny; he lampooned himself and his failures. Of course, he didn't write the jokes, but they were funny, and he does a lot better as a clown than he does a president. Beyond that, and as if that wasn't enough, Karl Rove ran a creepy attempt at following the president with a horrible rapper imitation. There he was, with his pasty, fat-gorged torso and that hairstyle that makes him look like Benjamin Franklin after several chemotherapy treatments. It was a disturbing site. He swayed and bounced with the mic, reciting an awful rap about ... himself, as some other viciously white guy played the part of MC. Actually, a black politician danced in the background. I am regretful that I am un able to fulfill my journalistic duties and report the names of such accomplices, but please understand that after seeing Rove in such a way, I am emotionally and intellectually drained. I still haven't slept, and when I try to close my eyes, I see him there on the inside of my lids, dancing that ghoulish, bouncy dance as blobs of colored light swirl around his body. It's been a hard day. Karl Rove should not be permitted to try humor, especially not in that terrible way that he did it. I'm all for the president delivering borrowed jokes meant poke fun at himself, but Rove should be drugged, strapped to a pillar and fed Slim Fast shakes for several days for his sins. His sins. They are many. And those frightful jowls. And that hair. Really. Ben Franklin as a cancer patient. That is the monster that is Karl Rove. Does anybody know the number of a decent therapist? Note: As a result of the Karl Rove rap spectacle, Mr. Zawicki has admitted himself to a very quiet, happy sanctuary atop a sunny little hill, where people with very specific medical credentials are feeding him apple newtons and reading Kurt Vonnegut novels out loud in an attempt to get him to see the world as a positive place full of hope once again. Future columns from Zawicki will be filed until further notice from said facility, and will likely give reference to construction paper projects, popcorn, and special naps. We wish him the very best in his recovery. Neil Zawicki, exiled Alaskan, is Editor at Large for Insurgent49, a former reporter for the Alaska Star, and winner of the Alaska Press Club's 'Best Columnist' award. He is now living out the rest of his days in an undisclosed location in Oregon. He can be contacted at hondo23@gmail.com 'Alaskan In Exile' appears on insurgent49.com every Friday. |
-
Columnists -
- column archive -
March 23, 2007 March 16, 2007 March 9, 2007 March 2, 2007 February 23, 2007 February 16, 2007 February 9, 2007 February 2, 2007 January 26, 2007 January 19, 2007 January 12, 2007 January 5, 2007 December 29, 2006 December 22, 2006 December 15, 2006 December 8, 2006 December 1, 2006 November 24, 2006 November 17, 2006 November 10, 2006 November 3, 2006 October 27, 2006 October 20, 2006 October 13, 2006 October 6, 2006 September 29, 2006 September 22, 2006 September 15, 2006 September 8, 2006 September 1, 2006 August 25, 2006 August 18, 2006 August 11, 2006 August 4, 2006 July 28, 2006 July 21, 2006 July 14, 2006 June 30, 2006 June 23, 2006 June 16, 2006 June 9, 2006 June 2, 2006 May 26, 2006 May 12, 2006 May 5, 2006 April 28, 2006 April 21, 2006 April 14, 2006 April 7, 2006 March 31, 2006 March 24, 2006 March 17, 2005 March 3, 2006 February 24, 2006 February 17, 2006 February 10, 2006 February 3, 2006 January 27, 2006 January 20, 2006 January 13, 2006 January 6, 2006 December 30, 2005 December 23, 2005 December 16, 2005 December 10, 2005 December 2, 2005 November 25, 2005 November 18, 2005 November 11, 2005 November 4, 2005 October 28, 2005 October 21, 2005 October 14, 2005 October 7, 2005 September 30, 2005 September 23, 2005 September 16, 2005 September 9, 2005 September 2, 2005 August 26, 2005 August 19, 2005 August 12, 2005 August 5, 2005 July 29, 2005 July 22, 2005 July 15, 2005 July 8, 2005 July 1, 2005 June 24, 2005 June 17, 2005 June 10, 2005 June 3, 2005 May 27, 2005 May 20, 2005 May 13, 2005 May 6, 2005 April 29, 2005 April 21, 2005 April 14, 2005 April 7, 2005 April 1, 2005 - also by this
writer -
|
||||||||
| Copyright 2005-2007
Insurgent Media. All Rights
Reserved. in-sur-gent (in sur'jent), n. 1. a member of a group which revolts against the policies of its leadership. |
|||||||||
