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| February 16, 2007 Alaskan in Exile by Neil Zawicki, insurgent49 I was relaxing at home, enjoying a large glass of two percent milk and some Bavarian chocolate-covered mint cookies when the alarm bell rang, sending me out of my Victorian wing-back chair like a startled rabbit. “Cake with White Icing!” shouted an un-mistakable Delcan Montgomery from down the hall and up the stairs. His shadow fell on the steps like a serpent, marking Aztec Time for The Gods. “You’re early,” I said, adjusting my red velvet, 1923 Aldofo smoking jacket and acting as if he hadn’t caused me to send Bavarian chocolate-covered mint cookies across the study like shrapnel. “You weren’t supposed to be here until Tuesday.” Delcan had arrived from Chicago to discuss our formation of a new and highly secret society, designed to rival the power of the Free Masons, Skull and Bones, the Bilderberg Group, The Knights Templar, the Illuminati, the Brotherhood of the Protective Order of Elks, the Columbia Journalism Review, Quill and Dagger, the International Brotherhood of Electrical Workers, MENSA, the Hotel and Restaurant Managers Association, the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, The Canadian Department of Wildlife Management, Casque and Gauntlet, the Daughters of the American Revolution, the Eastern New Mexico Model Rocketry Association, The Association, The Condition, the Conditional Order of Several Former Mayors of Cuyahoga Falls Ohio, Cambridge Apostles, Cabbage Growers Ass-Kicking Protectors, Menudo, the National Security Agency, AT&T, the Fraternal Order of Police, Delaware, The Order of the Bull’s Blood, The Oil Industry Information Dispensary, the Bureau of Indian Affairs, the Jimmy Buffet Fan Club and Amphibious Aircraft Mechanics’ Alliance, The Flat Hat Club, The Knights of the Garter, The San Diego Padres, The Tri-Lateral Commission, the Rhodes Scholars, the Cynthia Rhodes Fan Club, Don Knotts, The Bohemian Club, Up With People, The Dragon Society, Seven Society-Order of the Crown and Dagger, The Sphinx, Petal and Thorn, Juvenalorden, Florida Blue Key, the entire Hal’s Hobbytown Franchise, Iron Arrow Honor Society, DECA, Michigamua, the California Department of Motor Vehicles and the Covina Well. Of course, we couldn’t name them all, or discuss them, for that matter. But you can be certain that our secret society will borrow the best and the darkest practices from each one mentioned above. But it is the Bilderberg Group we are most keen to mimic. Below is a decent summary, compliments of Bilderberg.org, of what the Bilderberg Group is about and how it came into existence: 'The Treaty of Rome [1957], which brought the Common Market into being, was nurtured at Bilderberg meetings.' -George McGhee, former US ambassador to West Germany. 'Bilderberg' takes its name from the hotel, belonging to Prince Bernhard of the Netherlands, near Arnhem, where, in May 1954 the first meeting took place of what has ever since been called the Bilderberg Group. While the name persisted, its meetings are held at different locations. Prince Bernhard himself (who, incidentally, was actually German not Dutch) was chair until 1976 when he was forced to resign because of the Lockheed bribery scandal. The possible significance of this group may be gleaned from the status of its participants: the membership comprises those individuals who would, on most definitions, be regarded as members of the 'ruling class' in Western Europe and North America. In particular, the conferences brought together important figures in most of the largest international corporations with leading politicians and prominent intellectuals (in both academia and journalism). Moreover, virtually all the European institutions we take for granted today, or treat as if they 'emerged' as a matter of course, from the ECSC, EEC and Euratom down to the present European Union, were conceived, designed and brought into existence through the agency of the people involved in Bilderberg. That is what drew Delcan and I to the group: its apparent control of the world climate through hyper secret councils of world leaders and corporations. We feel we can do the same. “Alright, what do we have as far as assets,” Delcan began, studying a human skull painted like a map of the earth. “How about that lamp?” He was referring to my wrought iron and bamboo cylindrical table lamp. “Indeed. That lamp has changed my life,” I said, arranging a row of red candles and lighting them. “Good,” he said, clapping his hands together, “then the lamp will be our focal piece, our gathering obelisk.” The society was shaping up to be good and spooky, and kind of fun as well. “We’ll need cups,” I added. “Large ones we can fill with milk and honey, and then we can lift them in a toast to the bounty of the globe.” Delcan looked up. “Don’t be weird, man.” “What do you mean?” “Milk and Honey?” “Well, why not?” He though for a minute, drumming his hands on the skull. “Yeah, okay,” he said. “But only if we get to wear Grunden’s rain gear during the ceremonies.” I smiled, because I was thinking the same thing. Later that night, we wrote some chants and incantations that cannot be revealed to anyone but the “chosen nine.” The best I can allow is that the words we wrote that night contain patterns and meanings that we will likely never fully understand. It’s a good start. Neil Zawicki, exiled Alaskan, is Editor at Large for Insurgent49, a former reporter for the Alaska Star, and winner of the Alaska Press Club's 'Best Columnist' award. He is now living out the rest of his days in an undisclosed location in Oregon. He can be contacted at hondo23@gmail.com 'Alaskan In Exile' appears on insurgent49.com every Friday. |
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February 9, 2007 February 2, 2007 January 26, 2007 January 19, 2007 January 12, 2007 January 5, 2007 December 29, 2006 December 22, 2006 December 15, 2006 December 8, 2006 December 1, 2006 November 24, 2006 November 17, 2006 November 10, 2006 November 3, 2006 October 27, 2006 October 20, 2006 October 13, 2006 October 6, 2006 September 29, 2006 September 22, 2006 September 15, 2006 September 8, 2006 September 1, 2006 August 25, 2006 August 18, 2006 August 11, 2006 August 4, 2006 July 28, 2006 July 21, 2006 July 14, 2006 June 30, 2006 June 23, 2006 June 16, 2006 June 9, 2006 June 2, 2006 May 26, 2006 May 12, 2006 May 5, 2006 April 28, 2006 April 21, 2006 April 14, 2006 April 7, 2006 March 31, 2006 March 24, 2006 March 17, 2005 March 3, 2006 February 24, 2006 February 17, 2006 February 10, 2006 February 3, 2006 January 27, 2006 January 20, 2006 January 13, 2006 January 6, 2006 December 30, 2005 December 23, 2005 December 16, 2005 December 10, 2005 December 2, 2005 November 25, 2005 November 18, 2005 November 11, 2005 November 4, 2005 October 28, 2005 October 21, 2005 October 14, 2005 October 7, 2005 September 30, 2005 September 23, 2005 September 16, 2005 September 9, 2005 September 2, 2005 August 26, 2005 August 19, 2005 August 12, 2005 August 5, 2005 July 29, 2005 July 22, 2005 July 15, 2005 July 8, 2005 July 1, 2005 June 24, 2005 June 17, 2005 June 10, 2005 June 3, 2005 May 27, 2005 May 20, 2005 May 13, 2005 May 6, 2005 April 29, 2005 April 21, 2005 April 14, 2005 April 7, 2005 April 1, 2005 - also by this
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Reserved. in-sur-gent (in sur'jent), n. 1. a member of a group which revolts against the policies of its leadership. |
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