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| January 26, 2007 Alaskan in Exile by Neil Zawicki, insurgent49 I settled in last night to enjoy the president’s State of the Union Address on my Pentagon-designed, high-dollar, electron plasma display, alternating current-driven conduit to the unnatural universe of real-time communication. How bout these modern times? Like a glimpse of your teacher’s breast in seventh grade, dig? What wonder awaits us. Things we have never seen. As the house clapped, I stared at the president’s smug face, and behind him noticed that prick Dick Cheney – who made some interesting legal news concerning the Valerie Plame situation just that day – and the other person to GW’s left. My first thought was this: “Is that his wife up there?” No, no, come on. That is traditionally the place reserved for the Speaker of the House. That’s Nancy Pelosi. All right, feminists, go ahead … how perfectly male of me to think a woman behind the president would be Mrs. President. Right. That’s how it went, because I am not accustomed to seeing anything but well-suited white men up there (except for that little hiccup called Dan Quayle), but it doesn’t make me fodder for the feminists. Oh, sure it does. And why not? Anyway, as soon as I realized “that woman” was not Laura Bush or Tammy Wynette, I thought, “Oh yeah, wow, Nanci Pelosi, arch-nemesis of President Bush is third in line.” And she was shaking his hand after he made generous mention to the event that is a woman speaker. I wonder if she makes a little less than the boy speakers do. And why does Dick Cheney always have a look on his face that seems to say, “It’s all bullshit anyway …” No matter. I was interested to see Pelosi next to Cheney; I was a perfect portrait of the new taking its place among the old. Pelosi is bright and positive and vivid and Cheney is pale and scowling. Later, the camera cut away to Hillary Clinton, clapping with a covetous glare on her face, quietly selecting a dress that will go well with the presidential seal on the front of the podium. These are new days indeed. I’ll vote for her, just to see it happen. I didn’t hang around to listen to the speech; I wandered around on my Pentagon- designed, high-dollar, electron plasma display, alternating current-driven conduit to the unnatural universe of real-time communication, and looked up some Wesley Willis songs. I sat and giggled while listening to “I Whooped Spiderman’s Ass,” and “Cut The Mullet.” It was better than listening to the president prattle on in that “child’s birthday party” atmosphere where everybody pretends the president is not a dismal jackass and that these disagreements we have with him are actually so small compared to the idea that we can gather together and be proud to be running a government. And anyway, I really wanted to talk about the number of American flags I see at half-mast these days. That was my point, until I got a little off track up there. It seems like all the flags I see are at half-mast, and that they have been for the past few years. Yes, Gerald Ford died, and protocol dictates the flags be flown in that manner for a deceased national leader, but they were at half-mast before that. I looked it up. While the president is the one who orders the half-masting of the flags, more and more citizens are making it their own decision. They elect to fly the flag that way for reasons ranging from a deceased employee or relative to news of dead soldiers. It should be a citizens’ choice. My flag is big enough to cover a Karmen Ghia, and it’s been upside-down for the last two years. I think that people just don’t feel right raising the flag all the way up these days, and they haven’t for a little while. There’s just too much happening. And can we really find something to be proud of? Careful. I am not among the crowd that feels our nation is evil and corrupt and should lay off the poor, helpless rest of the world that is just minding its own peaceful business. But I do feel our nation is off balance and that change is urgent. Pelosi and her people are a good step in that direction. Does anybody remember the final scene in the film The Deer Hunter? It was just after the end of the Vietnam War and a group of tired Americans, some veterans and some widows, sat around the dinner table and very humbly and sadly sang “God Bless America.” That’s the notion behind the half-mast. And we as a nation will sing that song in that way unless we can turn it around. Neil Zawicki, exiled Alaskan, is Editor at Large for Insurgent49, a former reporter for the Alaska Star, and winner of the Alaska Press Club's 'Best Columnist' award. He is now living out the rest of his days in an undisclosed location in Oregon. He can be contacted at hondo23@gmail.com 'Alaskan In Exile' appears on insurgent49.com every Friday. |
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January 19, 2007 January 12, 2007 January 5, 2007 December 29, 2006 December 22, 2006 December 15, 2006 December 8, 2006 December 1, 2006 November 24, 2006 November 17, 2006 November 10, 2006 November 3, 2006 October 27, 2006 October 20, 2006 October 13, 2006 October 6, 2006 September 29, 2006 September 22, 2006 September 15, 2006 September 8, 2006 September 1, 2006 August 25, 2006 August 18, 2006 August 11, 2006 August 4, 2006 July 28, 2006 July 21, 2006 July 14, 2006 June 30, 2006 June 23, 2006 June 16, 2006 June 9, 2006 June 2, 2006 May 26, 2006 May 12, 2006 May 5, 2006 April 28, 2006 April 21, 2006 April 14, 2006 April 7, 2006 March 31, 2006 March 24, 2006 March 17, 2005 March 3, 2006 February 24, 2006 February 17, 2006 February 10, 2006 February 3, 2006 January 27, 2006 January 20, 2006 January 13, 2006 January 6, 2006 December 30, 2005 December 23, 2005 December 16, 2005 December 10, 2005 December 2, 2005 November 25, 2005 November 18, 2005 November 11, 2005 November 4, 2005 October 28, 2005 October 21, 2005 October 14, 2005 October 7, 2005 September 30, 2005 September 23, 2005 September 16, 2005 September 9, 2005 September 2, 2005 August 26, 2005 August 19, 2005 August 12, 2005 August 5, 2005 July 29, 2005 July 22, 2005 July 15, 2005 July 8, 2005 July 1, 2005 June 24, 2005 June 17, 2005 June 10, 2005 June 3, 2005 May 27, 2005 May 20, 2005 May 13, 2005 May 6, 2005 April 29, 2005 April 21, 2005 April 14, 2005 April 7, 2005 April 1, 2005 - also by this
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Reserved. in-sur-gent (in sur'jent), n. 1. a member of a group which revolts against the policies of its leadership. |
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