| May 20, 2005 Red Alert by Soren Wuerth Don’t let a ‘Chamber
Pot’ ruin your day
Several years ago, on a delightful spring day, I decided to go fight the Department of Defense. I’d heard, at about 10 a.m., that one of the agency’s promotional teams would give a dog-and-pony show at the noon Anchorage Chamber of Commerce luncheon. Hmm ... should I go for a hike, obeying the Alaska “Sunshiny Day Law, or weather military hot air in an Egan Center conference room? Steve Cleary, Akpirg’s executive director and a fellow organizer of “Citizens Opposed to Defense Experiments” made me feel guilty for considering the former. “No one else can get down there,” he barked over the phone. The room was packed with local business leaders and politicians dressed in spring pastels. I strolled in late and sat near the back. Crisply-dressed military PR clones took turns explaining the concept of the “National Missile Defense” system—an array of satellites, computers, and the “kill” device. The problem, I knew, is that the “kill” vehicle never successfully hit its target. The NMD, a renamed version of Reagan’s “Star Wars” plan, is plagued with cost overruns, technological failures, and diplomatic problems. About the only thing verifiable about the program is that it heavily subsidizes private contractors at enormous taxpayer expense (upwards, now, of more than $150 billion). After the PowerPoint show, the military boys fielded questions. The card I sent forward (despite its commitment to “freedom,” the Chamber does not allow the freedom to ask a question). Most of the questions were characteristic of the ruling right: “how much will this help the economy and how much will it bring ME?” “Will you need to buy products from ME?” “Explain, again, how you will protect ME from those evil poor nations out to get ME.” I saw the Chamber Nazi read a card then flick it to the bottom of the deck. “Oh, and here’s a good one,” he enthused. “’I like tanks. Could you let ME ride in one?’ Oh, haw, haw, haw.” My card asked: “If NMD is not deployed, can we use some of the money to help clean up the military’s 648 toxic military sites in Alaska?” I must have been visible agitated when my question was ignored because a reporter behind me whispered, “You seem upset. Would you care to be interviewed?” So, although I missed a morning spent considering the way spring snowmelt weaves a path of least resistance down a mountain gully, I did get a chance to tell 80,000 Channel 2 viewers how I felt about national missile “defense.” The next time you have a lunch hour, don’t let the “me” generation of Chamberites intimidate you from lobbing a truth grenade at their noxious guest speakers. Grab a reporter and ask for word. We could always use the extra daylight. Soren Wuerth is perhaps Alaska's best known community activist. He resides in an undisclosed location in Southeast Alaska and can be reached at soren@insurgent49.com. |
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2005
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Reserved. in-sur-gent (in sur'jent), n. 1. a member of a group which revolts against the policies of its leadership. |
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