| April 28, 2006 Red Alert by Soren Wuerth Well-oiled
economy feels like it has a flat tire
(New campaign: AK Socialist Oil Ltd. – AK SOIL) The guy who owned the used tire shop stared at me incredulously. “Just think,” I said, “if the State drilled for its own oil and returned a dividend back to its residents on the scale of BP’s annual Alaska profits ... each citizen would get a check for $10,000 a year!” He wagged his head and went back to working on a tire valve. “That would put a fat wad in your wallet ... you mean like a permanent fund check?” “Sure. Just think, ten grand a year!” “Sound’s like a good deal.” Suddenly, he stopped and looked out the shop’s fogged window as if he had just noticed something on the other side of the lot. “But, wait,” he said, squinting, “that’d be socialism.” A woman I sat next to on a plane trip grinned after I told her this story. She is an airline employee, and a member of one of America’s more feisty trade unions. “That’s the problem,” she said. “Most people don’t even understand what the word socialism means, let alone know that what we have isn’t capitalism. The profit of oil companies is so enormous, their power so complete, that they function as quasi-governmental bodies.” The price of oil just clicked over $70 a barrel. Ester’s Richard Fineberg’s analysis of oil industry earnings found that Big Oil has all its operations and exploration costs covered at somewhere between $7 and $10 per barrel. After that, it’s all gravy. Ray Metcalfe, the Republican Moderate’s chair, once told me that BP’s largest shareholder was the government of Kuwait. That was a half score years ago, though, and things may have changed. Now, the Saudis probably own most of the London-based firm. Folks like Fineberg, Metcalf, the Green Party’s Jim Sykes and even former Gov. Wally Hickel have been elbowing Alaskans while pointing to the drip of oil underneath the polished car for sale on the used car lot. But every year, gullible politicians and reporters get in and drive the thing around, smiling giddily and teasing the dials on the stereo. “This baby practically drives by itself,” says the oilman with a gap between teeth, leaning back. “Pull over and I’ll let you kick the tires.” The salesman buys his customer a cup a coffee with the $5 he paid for the car, a Buick. “I had one of these very cars once, a few years ago,” the customer says. “Not nearly in as good as shape, though. How ‘bout I give ya two grand cash.” The oilman looks at him scornfully. “What if your tax bill was 57.5%?!"1 “How do you expect me to run a business if that’s all I can get for my good vehicles? See if these words spell common sense: Long term investment wins.”2 The customer, grimacing, pulls his checkbook from his jacket pocket, scribbles in $3,000, and climbs in the car with his coffee. “The tank is on E,” he calls from the window. The oilman smiles, “Gas ... just around the corner.”3 The following day, the Buick is parked at the used tire shop. The man behind the counter watches the car pull up, and squints. 1. From an Alaska Oil and Gas Association ad appearing in Anchorage Daily News, April 17. 2. Conoco Phillips ad appearing April 6 3. BP ad in April 6 ADN. Soren Wuerth is perhaps Alaska's best known community activist, and is the winner of the Alaska Press Club's 2006 'Best Columnist' award. He resides in an undisclosed location in rural Alaska and can be reached at soren@insurgent49.com. |
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