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July 21, 2006
Rank and File
by Nova Stubbs, insurgent49

Mary

     Mary, a dear friend of mine from high school, is a single mother. The father of her child is absent, but she does what she can in order to make a better life for her and her five year-old little girl. She works at a home for the disabled, putting in long and arduous hours for little pay. She is also a college student working towards a degree in nursing.

     Strong, independent, and a heart of gold that yearns to help others … this is Mary, but even those closest to her do not always recognize her great characteristics. 

     Recently, Mary professed that members of her family believed she was being neglectful of her daughter. Mary stated with a heavy heart, “I take her to her T-ball, I take her out to do things with just the two of us, I read to her, I tuck her in at night... I may not make her breakfast because she is at daycare while I sleep after working the third shift, but I am there at dinner with her. Where am I neglecting her? I don't push her off on my family so I can go off with which ever boyfriend I have at the time. I don't push her onto my friends to watch her so I can party. I don’t party anymore. It makes me want to say ... what did I do wrong?”

     She works to pay bills and furthers her education in order to one day create an economically stable life for her and her daughter. Yet, she is deemed neglectful?

     Mary is one of thousands of single mothers within the U.S. Approximately 27% of households are headed by single mothers. According to the U.S. Census, 46% of single mothers with children ages five and younger live below the poverty level.

     There are various reasons as to why this social phenomenon exists. Women earn 76 cents to every mans dollar, trapped in limited occupations with little pay. Women’s earning potentials vary dependant upon education level. However, a woman who holds a Bachelors degree will, on average, make the same income as a man who has high school diploma.

     Women are regularly the sole custodians of their children after divorce. Therefore, single mothers are at a high risk of crossing into the poverty zone. This phenomenon has been called the “feminization of poverty.” As a society, we do not always recognize the plights of single mothers. Not to say that single fathers also don’t have a hard road in front of them, but the truth is that their earning potential is far greater.

     Ultimately, single mothers get bad raps; they are often criticized for taking advantage of the welfare system. But the truth of the matter is that minimum wage cannot support an individual, let alone a single income family.

     Then there are those single mothers who are not on welfare, but work very hard. These mothers, like Mary, get the rap of being neglectful. It is Catch 22. In other words ... what is a single mother to do?

     What needs to change are the overall societal impressions of single mothers. We need to understand their struggle and instead of criticizing, we need to offer kindness and applauded their efforts.

     Simply stated: Mary, and those like her, are warriors.



 


 


Nova Stubbs is a freelance writer and activist, and is co-founder of Insurgent49. Nova resides in an undisclosed location in downtown Anchorage and may be contacted at nova@insurgent49.com.
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Copyright 2005 Insurgent Media. All Rights Reserved.
in-sur-gent (in sur'jent), n. 1. a member of a group which revolts against the policies of its leadership.