insurgent49

December 8, 2006
The Tao of Waitressing
by Lindsay Luckey, insurgent49

The Best Time of the Month

“God, are you really going to eat all that?”

“You’re such a drama queen.”

“I know you’re just being bitchy ‘cause it’s your time of the month, but come on.”

“Well why should I stay over if we can’t DO anything?”

“Why are you crying? You’re so emotional!!”

“What? What did I say?!”

I believe in cycles. They are always in flux. They are both beautiful and sad. They are constant and reassuring. You need a starting place to recognize how far you’ve come. And you need absence to appreciate presence.

Life is full of beautiful cycles: day to night, seasons, the moon, the tides, the football season.

You’re rewarded if you pay attention to cycles … fisherman do better when they know the tides, job applicants are more successful when they pay attention to hiring cycles, and men would do better if they were more aware of women’s cycles.

And I’m not suggesting that men get involved in the maintenance of keeping a woman running during that time. I’m also not saying that women aren’t more difficult to be around during that time. Just appreciate that it is a part of life and not something to be hated or misunderstood or taken personally.

Women during this time are more women than at any other time. We can FEEL more than those without a monthly cycle can even comprehend. Not because I think you’re not as smart as us, but because you’ve never experienced it … in the same way that I can’t really appreciate the joy of hunting because I’ve never done it and I don’t understand it completely.

So men have never had to deal with the challenge and frustration of dealing with this beast all the while trying to keep living normally and look the same and act “lady like” when people point out that we’re in a bad mood.

I wonder though, does that mean that they haven’t felt what we feel when we feel our best? Truly, utterly joyful? So full of emotion over a diamond commercial or a puppy playing or a baby smiling or an old couple bickering while holding hands or the relief and beauty of tasting a piece of dark chocolate after craving it with our entire being? So full of emotion that we can’t explain it to ourselves, let alone to someone else.

I know that men can be, and indeed are, inspired by some of these things. I know men who are inspired to climb mountains, take pictures, write songs and be in the company of beautiful women. Look at all the world’s art!

From cavemen to graffiti artists, from filmmakers to soccer players, from men who care what their (grand)mother would think to those who are excited to talk to their wives, men are definitely able to identify and appreciate beauty.

So why give us a hard time when we do the same thing, only over beauty that you don’t quite see?

And ladies … we like it when our own beauty is appreciated don’t we? As long as it’s delivered sincerely and without ulterior motivations, and especially when it’s appreciated in concert with our ideas and capabilities.

So men, compliment us when you mean it and don’t expect more. Do nice things without expecting more. The same goes for women … return an appreciative glance with a smile or a thank you, if it made you feel good and don’t feel that you’re leading anyone on. You’re being nice. Wear what makes you feel comfortable and beautiful in your own skin even if it might provoke attention. Be smart in your provocation.

If those who see you looking and feeling both confident and beautiful in “provocative clothing” try to make you feel small or unsure of yourself, just be sure not to sleep with them and prove them right, because whatever names they call you won’t change how beautiful you are on the inside.

That goes for both men and women. It’s hard for us to be taken seriously when we’re stabbing each other in the back (or at least talking behind them) and taking each other’s men. Finish one thing before you start the next and make sure they have too.

And men, one final thought…don’t dread that time of the month for selfish reasons.

It’s when we’re our most emotional.

And that’s a beautiful thing.

Lindsay Luckey is a waitress and aspiring Renaissance woman. She lives and works in undisclosed locations in downtown Anchorage, and can be reached at lindsay@insurgent49.com..

- Columnists -

Editor's Desk
by Aaron Selbig

Rank and File
by Nova Stubbs

Red Alert
by Soren Wuerth

Alaskan In Exile
by Neil Zawicki

The
Bramble Bush
by Kevin Morford

The Tao
of Waitressing
by Lindsay Luckey

- also by this writer -

The Least We Can Do

The Tao of Waitressing