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| March 9, 2007 The Tao of Waitressing by Lindsay Luckey, insurgent49 [Editor's
note: Lindsay Luckey is taking the week off from 'Tao of Waitressing'.
Please take amoment to enjoy this 'classic' column from the past, dated
December 29, 2006, on the subject of good and bad pop music.]
 Ok, I have a confession to make. One of my guilty pleasures is bad pop music. You know the kind … music that you’d never include when asked what your favorite music is, but if you hear it in your car and no one is watching, you definitely sing along and may extend the occasional steering wheel tap to full blown air drumming, lead vocals or backup dancer. I usually don’t seek out said music. It finds me. When I’m in the car, I’m usually listening to CDs (most I would admit to owning) or NPR. We listen to the radio in the kitchen a lot at work and everyone has different tastes in music, so we often default to popular radio. Sometimes you find yourself singing along to songs you despise but, just through repeated listening, know many of the lyrics. The last song that found me and had to be mine was Justin Timberlake’s SexyBack and much to my wallet’s dismay, iTunes makes it devilishly easy to purchase this type of music, so for 99 cents, I can bring sexy back anytime I want now. The latest guilty pleasure song is Fergalicious from Black Eyed Peas’ front woman, Fergie. I know, I know…the music is not “good” and the lyrics are “annoying” and she’s just singing about how awesome or “fergalicious” she is. Many people hate this song and the mere mention of it leads to groans. If any men like this song, I suspect it’s because they have seen the video and can conjure up mental images of Fergie being her fergalicious self and dancing in moderately provocative clothing. So, beyond all reason, I like this song. And it makes me want to dance and be “Lindsalicious”. Like trying to find meaning in a Pauly Shore movie (thanks Clueless), let’s look a little deeper at some of the lines in Fergalicious. And by the way Fergie, what do you mean by “fergalicious”? “Fergalicious, definition: make them boys go loco They want my treasure so they get their pleasures from my photo You could see me, you can’t squeeze me I ain’t easy, I ain’t sleazy I got reasons why I tease ‘em Boys just come and go like seasons.” Excellent! First a working definition: being fergalicious means someone who makes the boys go crazy (we’re not sure how though). They want her “treasure” but short of having that, they must be satisfied with looking at her photo, watching her dance and listening to her sing. They can look at her but can’t touch her. She’s not a slut, she’s not a whore. She has her own motivations for her actions, relationships with men can be fleeting. Well, that doesn’t seem that bad, does it? What else Fergie? “All the time I turn around, brotha’s gather around always looking at me up and down looking at my (uhhhhh) I just wanna say it now I ain’t tryin to round up drama little mama I don’t wanna take your man And I know I’m comin off just a little bit conceited and I keep on repeating how the boys wanna eat it But I’m tryin’ to tell, that I can’t be treated like clientele” So … men check her out a lot and she wants to let those men’s girlfriends’ and wives know that she is not a threat. She acknowledges that she sounds conceited for tooting her own horn but just because she’s talented, good-looking and is “working on her fitness” doesn’t mean she should be treated like a prostitute. I was thinking that this column would be stronger if I could think of a popular male vocalists’ song touting his own wealth, good looks, adoration from women and violent tendencies. Being momentarily stumped I changed locations and while in the car turned to our local hip station. Hmm…what’s this dance-worthy song? Good beat, let’s listen for a moment. “I feel you creepin’ I can see you from my shadow.” (oh, she thought she was being sneaky…) “Wanna jump in my Lamborghini Gallardo.” (hmm…that IS a nice car…) “Maybe go to my place and just kick it, like Taebo.” (Taebo = fun! Maybe they’re going to play video games or something too?) “And possibly bend you over.” (!!blush!! But they’ve only just met!) “Look back and watch me” (…..) “Smack that, all on the floor,” (how presumptious! Why I never…) “Smack that, give me some more,” (what about what SHE wants?) “Smack that, ‘till you get sore” (…I think I’ve heard enough.) That song, Smack That from Akon featuring Eninem was #1 this week. I’ll dance to both, but I think I’d rather be someone-licious than smacked. Lindsay Luckey is a waitress and aspiring Renaissance woman. She lives and works in undisclosed locations in downtown Anchorage, and can be reached at lindsay@insurgent49.com. 'The Tao of waitressing' appears on insurgent49.com every Friday. |
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Columnists -
- column archive -
March 2, 2007 February 23, 2007 February 16, 2007 February 9, 2007 February 2, 2007 January 26, 2007 January 19, 2007 January 12, 2007 January 5, 2006 December 29, 2006 December 22, 2006 December 15, 2006 December 8, 2006 - also by this writer - The Least We Can Do The Tao of Waitressing |
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2005
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Reserved. in-sur-gent (in sur'jent), n. 1. a member of a group which revolts against the policies of its leadership. |
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