| January 30, 2007 A Well-Deserved Drubbing by Deirdre Helfferich, Ester Republic Fairbanks Republican Mike Kelly, I am pleased to see, has been getting a solid thrashing in editorial pages across the state. Kelly has demonstrated a shockingly bad grasp of civics for a state representative. His Community Perspective column was so jammed full of falsehood, duncery, and downright scary idiotics that I was amazed the Fairbanks Daily News-Miner printed it, but obviously they have a fine sense of what makes for good entertainment. I was so appalled by his tirade that I created a special award in his, er, “honor” for my 2007 Publisher’s Picks, the Mike Kelly Award, which is presented for the contribution that best provides a much-needed lesson in civics, science, or sex education. (It went to the reviewer of Dr. Tatiana’s Sex Advice to All Creation, by Olivia Judson). Let’s just go down the list of quotes from his column, shall we? “homosexuals who pair up with public employees” This reveals Representative Kelly’s apparent belief that “public employees, teachers, legislators, judges, commissioners, and local officials” couldn’t possibly be homosexual themselves, and therefore must be willing accomplices with homosexuals in ‘pairing up’ for the sole purpose of acquiring those oh-so-juicy public health benefits that public employees enjoy. It evidently hasn’t occurred to the good legislator that some of those public officials might BE homosexual, and that some of those might be in committed relationships with members of their own sex, and have no recourse to marriage-equivalent benefits—just as they have no recourse to marriage or civil unions. “In 1998 the Legislature…showed little interest in providing marriage-equivalent benefits” Bingo. And that’s the problem, isn’t it, Representative Kelly? There’s a wonderful legal concept that you are apparently unfamiliar with: equal pay for equal work. It’s a doctrine of fairness in compensation that applies to all human beings, because the issue at question is not who you are or what you look like or how old you are or who you make love to, but the work that you do. The equal pay idea has been applied to women, racial minorities, ethnic minorities, religious minorities, even noncitizens. Representative Kelly evidently thinks that the equal pay principle is a load of hogwash, and only those who meet his standards should receive equivalent pay. Some of us are more equal than others, hey, Mike? “activist homosexual agenda” I keep hearing this phrase from right-wingers like Mike Kelly, but funny, they never spell it out. You want to know what this agenda is? I’ll tell you: to be treated as human beings, with equal treatment under the law to all other human beings. Really a terrible thing, hmm? Next thing you know, blacks and whites will be wanting to marry each other and women will want the vote. Damn. “socialized medicine” The United States has the worst infant mortality rate of any industrialized nation (including Cuba and Taiwan), and our mortality rate is directly correlated to our income level. We’re right up there with Croatia in successful health care, at #43 in terms of infant mortality. We have the most expensive health care system on the planet. If we had a single-payer system like Canada’s, we’d save about $161 billion just on the paperwork. If we had socialized health care like Cuba’s, maybe more of our children would survive to adulthood. (See Holly Dressel’s story, “Has Canada Got the Cure?”. So much for Kelly’s “family values.” Oh, and Mike? Reimburse the state for any health benefits you may have been paid over the years. Go back to your childhood immunizations and work your way up from there. “ignoring the will of the majority” When all you have is majority rule, you have the mob. Modern democracies incorporate protections for the minority—this was true in the civil rights era, and it is true now. The modern push for civil rights for homosexuals is merely a continuation of this grand and noble tradition. “Supremes” Mocking the Alaska Supreme Court this way is disrespectful to both the Court and the Supremes, a great music group who were active in advocating for civil rights. Cut it out, Kelly, it’s childish of you. “Perhaps we should elect, not appoint [judges].” There’s good reason we don’t elect judges. We elect legislators. Judges are supposed to interpret the law without regard to their popularity ... that’s why they are appointed. “shacked-up heterosexuals and common-law marriage folks” This derogatory description of couples living together is indicative of a viewpoint that admits only a limited idea of family and commitment, one that requires external sanction. I guess the many couples I know who have been living together for years just don’t count—more of that Animal Farm thinking. “unnatural homosexual pairings” Kelly revealed his significant ignorance about the natural world with this phrase. Kelly believes homosexuality is unnatural; it isn’t. Homosexuality is widespread in the natural world, and between five and ten percent of humanity is homosexual. It’s innate: there are definite congenital differences in brain structure between heterosexuals and homosexuals. It’s not a “lifestyle,” it just is. An “unnatural homosexual pairing” would be a homosexual who denies his or her nature and pairs with a member of the opposite sex, i.e., a closeted homosexual pretending to be heterosexual. Closeting causes much distress, and some of those closeted exhibit strong homophobia. In fact, it’s speculated that many of those who yelp the loudest about the supposed evils of homosexuality are simply overcompensating for their own perceived “perversion.” Because they cannot accept who they are, they take it out on everybody else, advocating for discrimination. Ted Haggard is one example. Can anybody think of an example closer to home? “entrusted by God” With this statement, Kelly has shorn the veil: it’s HIS god he’s talking about, and HIS religion that he believes should be the law of the land. And that’s exactly why we have a separation of church and state: Kelly should not be able to force his religious views on the rest of us. Representative Kelly has, in his column, advocated that the governor break the law and ignore the ruling of the Judicial branch (which—news flash, Kelly—is supposed to interpret law, not the Legislative or the Executive). He’s advocated for one religious viewpoint to override civil rights. He thinks it’s just fine to have one set of laws and benefits for one group of people, and a lesser set for another group of people. Alaska—land of discrimination and first class people (we can just all ignore those second-raters). I grew up here, and over the years I’ve watched people like Mike Kelly try to turn this state into a mean, cruel, narrow-minded place. I’m glad to see the people of Alaska fighting back. Alaskans deserve better—all of us. |
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Reserved. in-sur-gent (in sur'jent), n. 1. a member of a group which revolts against the policies of its leadership. |
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