| August 12, 2005 Editor’s Desk by Aaron Selbig It’s been a lofty week here at Insurgent Headquarters. Well, he did it. After over a year of political wrangling and repeated no’s from the Department of Homeland Security, the State Legislature and the Alaskan people, Governor Frank “Red Baron” Murkowski went out and got himself a jet. Not just any jet, mind you, but a Westwind II Executive Jet, complete with (according to Monday’s ADN article) a leather sofa and private lavatory with a “vanity mirror”. Rumor has it that the aircraft, which is costing the state $2.6 million, also features wall-to-wall shag carpeting, Dolby surround sound, and a Jacuzzi full of hos. Pimpin’ ain’t easy. I know, I know ... you’re probably expecting me to now launch into an angry diatribe on how this is a grotesque use of state funds, that $2.6 million would pay for a hell of a lot of school improvements across Alaska, and this selfish asshole Governor of ours is screwing us yet again in favor of himself and his spoiled oil buddies (I’m sure they’re already fighting over who gets to sit where on the new airplane). But you’re wrong. Sure, we’ve denounced the Governor’s relentless pursuit of a jet over and over on Insurgent Radio, and so has everyone else, from the Daily News op/ed page to members of his own party. But now that it’s a done deal and we’ve had a couple of days to think about it, the general mood here at Insurgent Headquarters is a contented one. First of all, this one move of Governor Murkowski’s, more than any other stubborn and selfish thing he’s done in office, has completely alienated him from the Alaskan people. According to a recent nationwide poll, he is the second least popular Governor in the country (the Governor of Wyoming must have firebombed an orphanage or something). There is absolutely no way that this dude is going to see another term as Governor, and the new jet may be the single biggest reason why. His singular desire for pimpin’ new wings, as a matter of fact, has led most folks to believe that Frank isn’t even interested in running next year. Second, you’ve just gotta give the guy some credit. What balls. For Governor Murkowski to blatantly and repeatedly ignore an avalanche of public criticism over his jet amounts to a political hubris that would make President Bush blush. This goes way beyond legislating yourself a pay raise or appointing your kids to the US Senate. Why not rename Alaska ‘Murkowskiland’? That would be only slightly less self-important. So don’t worry, Alaskans. By the time Frank’s jet is delivered, gassed up, and tricked out the way he wants it, he’ll get to fly around in it for approximately two weeks before he’s thrown out of office. And, to the next governor of Alaska, here’s a sure-fire campaign promise to make to all of us: Sell That Jet! As for you, Red Baron: When you reach cruising altitude and look out the window of your new airplane, those little specks on the ground aren’t ants. They’re Alaskans. Regards, Aaron Selbig Editor, Insurgent Media AK |
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August 5, 2005 July 29, 2005 July 22, 2005 July 15, 2005 July 8, 2005 July 1, 2005 June 24, 2005 June 17, 2005 June 10, 2005 June 3, 2005 May 27, 2005 May 20, 2005 May 13, 2005 May 6, 2005 April 28, 2005 April 21, 2005 April 14, 2005 April 7, 2005 April 1, 2005 |
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Insurgent Media.
All rights reserved. in-sur-gent (in sur'jent), n. 1. a member of a group which revolts against the policies of its leadership. |
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