| February 17, 2006 Editor’s Desk by Aaron Selbig, insurgent49 [Editor's
note: I am taking the week off of 'Editor's Desk'. I apologize for any
inconvenience its absence may cause. Please enjoy this 'classic'
Editor's Desk from the past, dated June 17, 2005.]
It’s been a penitent week here at Insurgent Headquarters. Jesus was basically a hippie. He wore Birkenstocks, hung out with criminals and prostitutes, and was all about love and forgiveness. He even looks like a hippie, at least in those dusty oil paintings hanging in Grandma’s hallway. The long hair, scruffy beard, simple white robe ... hippie. If Jesus had come to Alaska instead of Galilee, he would surely have picked Girdwood as his home base. So, if Jesus was a hippie (a loving, forgiving, and accepting human being who casts aside material desires in favor of communal ones), why is it that modern Christianity resembles so little of what he stood for? Take Jerry Prevo, for example. What would Jesus think about Prevo’s multi-million dollar compound on Northern Lights Boulevard, with its swank interior, state of the art sound system, and giant satellite dishes for talking directly to God? Something tells me he wouldn’t approve. Remember the story of mild-mannered Jesus flying into a rage at the temple in Jerusalem, overturning the tables of the moneychangers and decrying their turning a house of prayer into “a den of thieves” (Matthew 21:12-14)? And, speaking of unbridled greed, what would Jesus think of the gross disparity of wealth in the world? After all, he (and his Dad) have given us human beings more than enough food, water, and shelter to take care of every single person on this beautiful planet. But, throughout much of the world, entire nations live in abject poverty, their children either dying of preventable diseases or growing up in cultures of incessant war. Not so in the wealthy West, of course. With America leading the charge, the Western world lives in fabulous opulence, its wealth often gained on the backs of some hardworking Asians and Africans who are willing to sacrifice everything for the opportunity to make us some nice sneakers and salad-shooters. What would probably piss Jesus off the most, however, is what’s presently going on in his old neighborhood (this may come as a shock to many American Christians, but Jesus didn’t grow up in Ohio; he wasn’t even white). It seems the rich Westerners have had it with those troublemakers in the Middle East and they’ve decided to do something about it. And so, with an underdeveloped sense of irony and a casual disregard for that whole “camel through the eye of a needle” thing (Matthew 19:24), America has sent its armies over to Jesus’ turf to torture and kill a bunch of Middle Easterners in the name of ... well, Jesus. It’d be funny if it wasn’t so Biblical. Hippies are well known for their love of marijuana, too. Do you think Jesus would smoke marijuana? I think he would. After all, he drank wine all the time, so it’s not like he wasn’t into partying. And marijuana is a natural plant that grows in the dirt and was presumably created by God, right? I wonder what kind of music Jesus would listen to if he got stoned (marijuana stoned, not the other kind of stoned). I guess we’ll never get a chance to find out, though, will we? Modern moral Christians have declared that marijuana is so evil, it’s unfit even to relieve the pain and suffering of cancer and AIDS patients. Too bad. Although I don’t really consider myself a Christian, I’ve always admired the life and teachings of Jesus. Jesus, if you happen to read this – please come back. Some of your followers are really screwing things up and we need you to set them straight. You can stay at Insurgent Headquarters. You’d like it here. We’re basically hippies, too. Regards, Aaron Selbig Editor, Insurgent Media AK |
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Columnists -
- column archive -
February 10, 2006 February 3, 2006 January 27, 2006 January 20, 2006 January 13, 2006 January 6, 2006 December 30, 2005 December 23, 2005 December 16, 2005 December 10, 2005 December 2, 2005 November 25, 2005 November 18, 2005 November 11, 2005 November 4, 2005 October 28, 2005 October 21, 2005 October 14, 2005 October 7, 2005 September 30, 2005 September 23, 2005 September 16, 2005 September 9, 2005 September 2, 2005 August 26, 2005 August 19, 2005 August 12, 2005 August 5, 2005 July 29, 2005 July 22, 2005 July 15, 2005 July 8, 2005 July 1, 2005 June 24, 2005 June 17, 2005 June 10, 2005 June 3, 2005 May 27, 2005 May 20, 2005 May 13, 2005 May 6, 2005 April 28, 2005 April 21, 2005 April 14, 2005 April 7, 2005 April 1, 2005 |
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| Copyright 2005
Insurgent Media.
All rights reserved. in-sur-gent (in sur'jent), n. 1. a member of a group which revolts against the policies of its leadership. |
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