| May 20, 2005 Voice of the Verve A voice for liberal Alaskans by BMac the Knife Governor Frank’s Pot
Initiative Goes Up In Smoke
Geez loueeze, Frankie boy, don’t you realize around 40% of your constituency doesn’t mind grass? And that’s only the clowns that vote. We all take a puff every now and then ... I’d venture to guess more so than any where else in this great nation. Trying to change the constitution and make possession of four ounces a felony is absurd. Granted, you would be able to fly more convicts down to AZ if you actually got your new jet, but those dirty pot smokers would probably leave your ride smelling like patchouli. Lucky for all of us stoners Lyda Green the billboard queen smothered that initiative in committee. Hats off to D’Ear for giving us some snickers over that one (see ADN Section B the Ear 5-15-05). I, for one, am not buying that line that herb is stronger now and therefore we need to protect ourselves from that demon weed. Sure, pot is probably a bit heavier than the dirt schwag from yer college daze, Murky, but it’s nowhere near as damaging as that 12 year-old scotch in your bottom desk drawer. The thought of all those politicians closing their doors and grabbing their bongs for an after-session session makes me think there could actual be some stimulating discussion on the problems facing the state. Pot smokers are not one of them. What your failing to catch on to, Uncle Frankie, is that cash crop of ours currently only enriches a few hundred folks in the black market world of marijuana sales. It is probably the most stable commodity we have ever had, retailing on “the street” for $40 an 1/8th over the last 20 years. Sure, that greasy oil money is rolling in right now, but how long is that going to last? Think of the sustainable yield we could be producing far into our future when those wells run dry. Not to mention the amazing potential of its non-psychoactive cousin, the mighty hemp plant. Everyone knows this place has a long history of putting our important ex-politicos on the state dole, usually a cushy position where they are able to maintain a steady diet of Alaskan teat well into their golden years. Picture, if you will, a day when legalization is a done deal and 49ers statewide are able to fire up in the privacy of their homes without feeling like criminals. And for the sins of his administration, Frank the Bank is head of the Department of Weights and Measures issuing Marijuana Tax Stamps to place on our proud Alaskan Grown. I know ... it makes me shiver with anticipation, too. 30K a Day! Not a penny more! As long as they are in session, and Frank doesn’t get a thin dime for his time either. Shelve all of it except the budget until next year when you better believe we will be holding your hands to the flames to see some work accomplished. If we are going to start cutting retirement benefits, let’s start at the very top. Frank, you’ve got a job with DWM, I’m sure you can take Leman and Rokeberg there with you. Ted and Don are going to work graveyard shift with me on the Young-Stevens Bridge to the Future & Wasilla when it opens. Yours, BMac |
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| Copyright
2005
Insurgent Media. All Rights
Reserved. in-sur-gent (in sur'jent), n. 1. a member of a group which revolts against the policies of its leadership. |
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